goddamnit!

it’s zero degrees outside. that’s up from the -4 we had overnight.

the rest of the week’s forecast is all snow.

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dude, what the fuck?!

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i had to watch “cloudy with a chance of meatballs” in 3D to get “for colored girls” outta my head.

tyler perry may have redeemed his past cinematic coonery with his adaption of the ntozake shange’s play “for colored girls who have considered suicide when the rainbow is enuf.” it is a collection of 20 poems that deal with intense issues of what it means to be a woman of color in the world..

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the man and i haven’t had a tv since we moved in august. something about finding just the right one, XMBC technology, etc … meanwhile, we had comcast come out to install the internet and tv. no problem with the ‘net but they wouldn’t do the tv installation without a tv in the room. stupid, right? fine! they still charged us a $99 installation fee. WTF?!

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i’m taking september off. the man and i are spending it in france. recharging the batteries and getting some creative inspiration. see you next month.

hi there shady web developer,

it’s kelli again. you know, that super-frustrated woman who’s paying you to redesign her business website.

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if you don’t know how to do something, there’s no shame in saying so. but if you lie to me and waste my time, only to have me find out you never knew what you were doing, please don’t expect to get paid.
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i’ve determined the taxis in boston are pretty consistently bad/goofy. many of them don’t know the city well so i often have to give them directions. i had one guy literally falling asleep at the wheel and he played David Guetta’s “Sexy Bitch” really loud to help him stay awake and not kill us both. Read the rest of this entry »

… don’t put on your website that you take reservations and, when i call, tell me you only do that for parties of 5 or more.

i hate that and it makes me less likely to eat at your place or recommend it to my friends. Read the rest of this entry »

delightful animated gif courtesy of mr. christopher street. thanks brax!

andy: i’m the biggest boss that you’ve seen thus far.

me: do you even know who sings that song?

andy: no, but it doesn’t matter. i’m still the boss.

me: riiight.

[end scene]

after nearly a year in Boston, it’s time to move. again. what seemed like great spot when i came apartment hunting last summer has turned into a noisy, less-than-ideal spot. so the man and i have been searching for new digs. here are some things i want the local apartment brokers, listing agents and owners to know. Read the rest of this entry »

sure, i like vending machine snacks as much as the next girl desperate for sustenance. my friend matthew baldwin is, as usual, taking things to an extreme and hilarious level. for his next trick he’s going to randomly consume and review every item in his office vending machine.

he’s only 8 posts in and, so far, the blog has made me LOL … a lot. from cashews to chewing gum, matthew’s writing is fresh and funny. the posts are short and include images and a cute rating system.

start at the journey’s beginning and enjoy! www.vendingspree.com

i cut to the chase, i pull no punches and i don’t suffer fools.

be real with me or beat it. i have absolutely no time for fake ones, flatterers, admirers or wannabes. there is no room for thieves or liars, would-be friends or phony family, part-time lovers or the disloyal. with me, what you see if what you  get. if you can’t handle it, don’t make it my problem. i don’t do half-assed and i take no shorts. mediocrity will never be on the agenda. either love me or leave me alone.

my aces know who they are. everyone else, please feel free to take your leave.

it’s my blog and i wanted to post a picture of myself. so there!

i hate you.

you’ve spent the last 15 years raping us, mining our childhood for movie ideas to make a quick buck. everything old is “new,” with 3-D gimmicks, better computer graphics and hotter, one-dimensional actors. from tv shows to toys, we are definitely in the age of recycling.

sure, “Transformers” was alright but you ruined it with “Revenge of the Fallen.”  “Iron Man” was better than i expected but “GI Joe” was crap. “The A-Team” is going to be awful and you know it. coming soon: “The Neverending Story” and (the last fucking straw) “Clash of the Titans.”

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when did the quality of clothing in this country deteriorate to total crap?

i like to buy staples: classic pieces that will never go out of style and are made to last a long time. seems simple, right? recently i went looking for a pair of brown pants. nothing crazy, just something basic that i can mix with tops and jackets i already have.

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i hope 2010 brings back vowels:

• flickr
• tumblr
• blubrry
• pluggd
• punk’d

yeah, i get it. all of the normal word URLs are taken. you can’t just go out and register www.iceberg.com, but you can register www.icebrrg.com. mashable had an article about it way back in 2007. yeah, i get it. web 2.0 and all that but really it’s just dumb and may actually be exacerbating our nation’s declining literacy. please stop it.

i decided this was probably a better medium for a holiday “letter” than shoving something into an envelope. with 2009 at its end, i’ve been thinking about the big events and those worth reporting. 2009 was quieter than previous years but there was some sailing, new ventures, moving, catastrophe, celebrations …

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i resisted seeing james cameron’s “avatar” but the man made me do it. i don’t know if it was the IMAX 3D treatment but i really liked it. two things:

1. “unobtainium” is a stupid word. the rest of the flick was so creative and then … that. ugh.
2. if you’re spending millions of dollars to make a blockbuster movie, commission a custom typeface for your subtitles. papyrus!?! c’mon! the type nerd in me was distracted and dismayed by that choice. i think i missed a small part of the movie because i was fixated on that stupid font choice. bad move, cameron.

check it out anyway.

when i say “thank you” the proper response should be “you’re welcome.” saying “it’s my pleasure” is the only thing other than “you’re welcome” that comes close to being proper.

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“I believe that I am because I have common sense, and I have, I believe, the values that are reflective of so many American values. And I believe that what Americans are seeking is not the elitism, the, um, the, ah — kind of spineless — a spinelessness that perhaps is made up for that with elite Ivy League education and — fact résumé that’s based on anything but hard work and private-sector, free-enterprise principles. Americans could be seeking something like that in positive change in their leadership. I’m not saying that that has to be me.”

can you guess who this quote is from before clicking this link for the answer?

it’s been a year since i dedicated two weeks to myself and to learning how to swim.

the backstory:  in preparation for our fantastic sailing adventure, i had been attempting to learn how to swim. it was a lot harder than i thought it would be and i wondered if i was going about it all wrong.

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after that ranting post about my flickr account, one of the amazing flickreenos rocked my world, made my day and saved my bacon. my account (and the precious photography) was recovered in just a few clicks.

a million thanks, kevin!

sooo … my yahoo account got hacked a few months ago. to stem the tide of obnoxious sales messages being sent to my address book, i shut the account down. of course, now that sign-in doesn’t work for flickr.

i wrote to yahoo account services and explained the situation. they had me jumping through all kinds of hoops to verify the account belonged to me: name, email address, copy of government issued ID, birthdate, zip code, etc.. i faxed them the stupid questionnaire which was no help AT ALL since i apparently got one question wrong. i opened the account more than 10 years ago and i have no memory of the security settings required back then. yahoo doesn’t care.

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