a recent new york times article got me thinking about what i’m going to do with my hair after the big boston move. finding a new stylist is proving to be so much more difficult than i was expecting.

Getting “good hair” often means transforming one’s tightly coiled roots; but it is also more freighted, for many African-American women and some men, than simply a choice about grooming. Straightening hair has been perceived as a way to be more acceptable to certain relatives, as well as to the white establishment.

notoriously and unceasingly, black hair is jammed into two categories: “good” and “bad” — good being straight, long, manageable, “white”; bad being short, kinky, “nappy,” and difficult. i’ve always believed that if you have any hair at all, it should count as “good” hair, but the black community still holds on to this internal bias. we judge each other on the quality of our hair using a standard of beauty that is based in white culture and very much a holdover from slavery times (tyra breaks down the details).

after many a tear-filled battle with a stove, some grease and a hot comb, i got my first relaxer when i was 8 years old. a thick, uncooperative tangle of hair and a severely tender head prompted my mother to chemically straighten my hair. the process was long and painful but left me with what some would consider “good hair.” and in the 25 years (!) since then, i’ve worn my hair very long, very short and in between. it’s been in tiny microbraids, cornrows, supplemented with weave … i’ve rocked it all. everything, that is, except my natural hair texture.

a year ago, my stylist — who is all about keeping hair healthy — convinced me that i didn’t “need” a relaxer to keep my hair straight. the idea of giving up the “creamy crack” was foreign and scary. and so began the journey to grow out the chemicals. there were ups and downs as i almost lost faith and got very frustrated. last week, i got the cut that rid me of the final, relaxed ends and, this week, i’ll become reacquainted with my hair’s natural texture and behavior. i don’t know it at all since i haven’t seen in since the third grade.

i’ve also got the october release of chris rock’s new comedy/documentary about black ladies’ relationship with their hair on my calendar.

the move to boston has become a catalyst for all kinds of life change. this hair business is the end of a personal era and — hopefully — the start of an exciting new one.